Choose Being Kind (Part One)

“If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind”. I always love this quote. Just now, I have the opportunity to see people’ kindness towards me.

I sold christmas hampers that contain relaxing product (aromatherapy) and amigurumi. Takes a lot of time but profitless, yet I think it is a good practice for me sharing things and keeping mind at bay from negative thoughts. I started with distributing free hampers to my friends and suddenly God gives me xmas present through this woman, she bought 18 package. I was so shocked because I thought nobody will buy my hampers but shedding happy tears at the same time. After that, feeling so stressed because I had to crochet 18 amigurumi, 15 of them must finished in 3 days. On the very first day I was super optimistic, but in the end of the day, I started to think “I will not finish on time”. At that time, I tried to have faith, if I crochet non stop, I may be finish on time. (Of course I have lost faith, after I thought my life will always be like this, get abused physically & emotionally, but I try to believe once more). From 9 A.M to 4 A.M I crochet until I didn’t felt my hand, it was super sore and my forefinger skin was thickened. Long story short, I finished 13 on time, and ask for additional time.

After sending those hampers, the fear of being judged by the others came up. What if they don’t like it, what if the amigurumi is not good, because it was not my best. With the courage, I asked for feedback. When the reply notification pop up, I was so scared and sad when I looked at the chat preview, it written “the amigurumi….”. At that moment, I thought “see…. the amigurumi is not good.” Gathering up my courage for a moment, then opened the chat, it turned out “the amigurumi is super cute, all of my friend say they are so cute, they like it, do you really make it by yourself? The scented candle is so good too”

I cried. I don’t know why, every gratitude and acknowledgement bring me to tears until now. Maybe being used to underestimation, not appreciated for a long time, I feel worthless and trashy. She chooses to be kind, regardless the imperfection of the hampers, she chose to give positive feedback. For me, this is super valuable, makes me want to believe, to have faith, there are many nice people. I always think people want to harm me, i always stay alert n thinking about the worst things that might happen.

Published by whatchildwants

I have a childhood trauma that leads me here. Trying to write and put those all behind. Hoping that this could be my healing journal.

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