Growing up Is Hard : managing expectation

At this moment, growing up means to be hurt, dissapointed, and to give up your values in order to be accepted in the society. Lately, life feels so challenging. There was a time when me and my friends were going to hang out. One of them is my close friend, like I literally open upContinue reading “Growing up Is Hard : managing expectation”

A Guideline for Relationship?

I can’t stop wondering if there is anything called “normal” relationship (both friendship and romantic)…. Like a guide or a standard of relationship, whether what I have is normal or common.Maybe all of you will think, why is this so important? Grew up in an unsafe environment psychologically and physically, I became overly sensitive, tendContinue reading “A Guideline for Relationship?”


I choose my own path, leaving all of the amenities I had. Someone says “Leaving needs courage”. Indeed, going away from familiarity to unfamiliarity. Have limited money, no job yet, no place to go. To find peace yet meeting uncertainty leads to anxiety. What if…. What if in the end, I don’t have enough moneyContinue reading “Separation”

Choose Being Kind (Part One)

“If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind”. I always love this quote. Just now, I have the opportunity to see people’ kindness towards me. I sold christmas hampers that contain relaxing product (aromatherapy) and amigurumi. Takes a lot of time but profitless, yet I think it is aContinue reading “Choose Being Kind (Part One)”

Toxic Parenting (The Beginning of Healing Journey)

This man, he is different from the world I used to be. This man, he forgives me when I got us lost to nowhere, he forgives me when I messed up, even when I pushed him away, He is still there. This man gives me another point of view when I chased my tail. HeContinue reading “Toxic Parenting (The Beginning of Healing Journey)”

What Child Wants: Toxic Parenting (I m Broken)

“You are a good person”, someone says to me. “You are kind, friendly, helpful, very cheerful, smart, confident, pretty”, they said. Am I? If that’s the truth, why I can’t see the one you all are talking about……….I am just one of hell kid, my laughter is a sin, my existance is a pain. NoContinue reading “What Child Wants: Toxic Parenting (I m Broken)”

What Child Wants: Toxic Parenting (The Second Time)

When the other said that “he was just making a mistake”. He is your father, he provide you with your needs. You have house to live in, you have foods, you should feel grateful. You should forget that night. Ohh… How I wish I could forget that. I was just a kid. For foreigner, 16Continue reading “What Child Wants: Toxic Parenting (The Second Time)”

What Child Wants: Child POV about Toxic Parenting (when it all began)

That night, I slept in my own room and suddenly woke up being dragged (my hair was being pulled) in the middle of stairs. I still remember the feeling of confusion, hurt, and scare. The person, who God sent us to, to protect us, to nurture, to whatever good things you can say until weContinue reading “What Child Wants: Child POV about Toxic Parenting (when it all began)”

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